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How To Rap

Author: Alex Ogg

Paul Edwards’ new book on the Art & Science of the Hip-Hop MC

“You want to be able to stand out from the others and just be distinct, period. A lot of shit sounds the same, so when you got something that can separate you from everybody else, you gotta use it to your advantage.”

B-Real, Cypress Hill

You can get a textbook for pretty much anything these days. The Weird Book Room collates such frightening titles as The Humanure Handbook, Bombproof Your House, How to Teach Physics To Your Dog and 50 Ways to Use Female Hygiene Products in a Manly Manner. So perhaps Edwards’ new tome (out through Chicago Review Press) tackling the mechanics and logistics of the MC’s art will not only find an audience, but given hip-hop’s worldwide penetration, is arguably overdue. For, while once teenagers the world over ‘Hank Marvin’d’ with a broomstick in front of the mirror, likely today’s youth has cast the guitar simulacrum aside and is spitting rhymes at their reflections and dreaming of the OG lifestyle.

Edwards uses a largely first-person narrative storyboarded by an impressive cohort of MCs, breaking it down between content, flow, writing and delivery. The Performing Live section, for example, has subsections as prosaic as ‘Rehearsing’ through to ‘Rocking the Crowd’. In the Content Tools section there’s some Eng-Lit nostalgia so you can remind yourself of the difference between conventions such as assonance and consonance. It’s often backed up by a primo example from the canon, sometimes illustrated in tabular form, right down to stressed syllables.

There are some revelations for those of us for whom a career in rapping is no longer (or never was) an option. Chuck D has always used baseball analogies, but here he confirms he envisioned his episodic interventions to be modelled on those of a commentator relaying the action play by play. Schoolly D opts for a quarterback simile. We learn that Gatling Gun hardcore MC Tech N9ne actually writes to a framework whereby his oxygen intake can be accommodated.  In terms of research, most contemporary rappers seem rather too trusting of wikiwisdom with the exception of Imani of the Pharcycde and Gift of Blackalicious, who will actually go buy or borrow a book to research his subject matter.

The devil’s advocate argument here is an obvious one – none of these artists arrived at this juncture by reading a book. They unanimously cite prior listening as the key to moving the art form forwards – a point on which will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas is particularly eloquent. But then no-one had ProTools or FL Studio back in the day either and hip-hop’s jackdaw mentality has always been about seizing what’s available. As Kool G Rap notes in his introduction, to be a great MC, “you gotta hear it, you gotta feel it”. Nothing wrong with some crib notes along the way, There are some useful insights here for the aspirant master of ceremonies.

Songs for a Hung Parliament

Author: Alex Ogg

As Gord, Nick and Dave scrap it out, hard-pressed political researchers are self-evidently running short of sync ideas for soundtracking soundbites. Hence this quick list to accompany politico dithering.


1. Bucks Fizz – Making Your Mind Up

Awful, of course, but it had to be in there. You really don’t need the lyrics quoted.

2. Radiohead – Where I End and You Begin

X’ll mark the place / Like the parting of the waves / Like a house falling in the sea

Thom the soothsayer – our sixth form focus group provided the following explanation … “X being the vote, the house falling into the sea a metaphor for Parliament disappearing beneath the murky wash of the Thames … “

3. Paul Weller – Hung Up

And now I’m all hung up again / Just like a soldier from the past / Who won’t be told it’s over yet

Er… song for Gordy?

4. That Petrol Emotion – Big Decision

Economies gets weaker / Reactionaries stronger / As they get satisfaction on their knees

Very nearly up there with Thom for prescience, with the final quoted line particularly delectable in the circumstances (as one wag has noted, the economy may have been in freefall, but there’s been a run on kneepads down SW1 way)

5. Lethal Bizzle – Babylon’s Burning Down The Ghetto

Labour party’s full of shit / Cameron’s a fucking arse / Keep on talking shit, I’ll put your face through the frigging glass

Yes, Biz, we’ve all felt broadly similar

6. Ella Fitzgerald – Undecided

First you say you do / And then you don’t / And then you say you will / And then you won’t

Possibly likely to get more airplay accompanying parliamentary shadow boxing and horse-trading than Biz’s effort.

7. Sham 69 – Questions And Answers

Questions and answers / Honesty, lies / Yes, no you can’t, but you can if you know why

And where was Sir Jimmy Pursey’s name on my ballot paper?

8. Teddy Thompson – Change of Heart

Well, I guess you must have had a change of heart / You don’t treat me like you did at the start

Country music is all about betrayal after all . . .

9. New Order – Confusion

He’s calling these changes that last to the end / Ask me no questions, I’ll tell you no lies / The past is your present, the future is mine.

It wouldn’t be too much of a twist to address this to the vexed PR issue . . .

10. Jay-Z – Politics As Usual

When it comes to this cheese / Y’all like Three Blind Mice

Probably the only relevant line in the whole song, but exquisitely so.

11. Husker Du – No Promise Have I Made

Tell me a story / Tell me just another lie / Well, I can tell you / Set Your Expectations High

The pitch . . .

12. The Tubes – No, Not Again

Once you are burned, you are twice shy / That’s a lesson that I’m still trying to learn / And it’s one I forget as you walk by / I’m tempted to ask you to return

Dave reels in the medium-term memory loss contingent

13. The Replacements – You Lose

Yea, You Lose / Yea, You Lose

Because it’s all playground stuff at the end of the day. Also, a gratuitous dedication to Nick Griffin and the former BNP councillors for the borough of Dagenham.

14. Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine – A World Without Dave

And the world carries on without Davey / It’s not a worse or better place / Uglier and safer maybe / But that’s a question of personal taste.

You know, just in case the mooted Lib-Con alliance falls and Broon manages to assemble his skittles.

15. The Rascals – People Watching

They’re all making a deal out of nothing / Decisions to be made, it seems so easy . . . And they’re reading into things without my say-so / And he’s sniffing his way to the top

In a nutshell.

Gabba Gabba Hey: 25 Songs Mentioning Da Brudders Ramone

Author: Alex Ogg

1. Motorhead – R.A.M.O.N.E.S

Bad boy rock, bad boy roll / Gabba gabba, see them go / CJ, now, hit the gas / Hear Marky kick your ass / Go, Johnny, go, go, go

2. Blubberry Hellbellies – I Don’t Wanna Get Thin

I don’t want to be as skinny as Joey Ramone / The folks wouldn’t know me when I got home

3. Spazzys – I Wanna Cut My Hair Just Like Marky Ramone

Did Marky ever get the chicks? / With his hairstyle and drumming sticks? / Leather jacket, Chucks and ripped jeans / That’s what he wears in all my dreams

4. Frank Black – I Heard Ramona Sing

I don’t care if they’re real or they’re pseudo / I don’t care if they get any higher / I hope if someone retires / They pull another Menudo

(note reference to Menudo, the famous Puerto Rican boy band with a ‘Logan’s Run’ approach to ageing process)

5. Heideroosjes – Ode To The Ramones

Sheena brought me to heaven / Pet Semetary brought me to hell / Mostly it took only two minutes / But I remember those minutes well

6. The Human League – The Things That Dreams Are Made Of

New York, ice cream, TV, travel, good times / Norman Wisdom, Johnny, Joey, Dee Dee, good times

7. Sleater-Kinney – I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone

I wanna be your Joey Ramone / Pictures of me on your bedroom door / Invite you back after the show

8. Mr T Experience – End of the Ramones

We’re so sad cause we all know it’s the end of the Ramones / Joey is a vegetable, Dee Dee’s going bald / Johnny got kicked in the head but the kids still love them all

9. Eastern Dark – Johnny and Dee Dee

Johnny and Dee Dee / They’re My Heroes In Life

10. Helen Love – Debbie Loves Joey

They met in 1980 at the school disco / He kissed her for the first time on the last bus home / He said, you be Debbie Harry, I’ll be Joey Ramone

(see also the same band’s ‘Joey Ramoney’, plus ‘Girl About Town’ – ‘She got her picture in Rolling Stone, third from the left behind Joey Ramone’)

11. The Wildhearts – 29 x The Pain

Here, sitting in my room, with The Replacements and Husker Du / Like a rebel without a clue / And the Beatles and the Stones get to hang out with Ramones

12. Beastie Boys – What Comes Around

Why you wanna beat that brat with a bat / Why you wanna beat your girl like that?

13. Junior Senior – White Trash

We wanna dance next to Stevie and Ray / Underground chance like they do in France / And dance to the phone like Joey Ramone

13. Guitar Wolf – Kung Fu Ramone

(instrumental . . . apart from the title . . . but loud)

14. Wesley Willis – The Ramones

The Ramones really whoops a camel’s ass / You really whoop the horse’s ass.
You are the punk band king / The Ramones is excellent.

15. Boredoms – Noise Ramones

Ahem. Just like, white noise.

16. Milky Wimpshake – Chomsky V Ramones

I wanna read about media distortion / Of US foreign policy / But I also need dumb stuff / Like Joey, Johnny and Dee Dee

17. Rheostatics – My First Rock Concert

Aerosmith and Goddo, they were OK / But then I saw the Ramones / And it changed the way I saw the world

(The band’s Dave Bidini would go on to mention that he thought Paul Weller was Christ and Michael Stipe was “distant, but nice”)

18. Shonen Knife – Shonen Knife

Nick Lowe, Costello, Beatles / Redd Kross, Ramones, Buzzcocks / Shonen Knife is a cult band

19. The Boys – TCP

Johnny, Joey, Tommy, Dee Dee / T.C.P. will leave you pimple free … hey!

20. The Queers – Goodbye California

I’m going back home to see the Ramones / Get your ass off the phone, let’s go!

21. Courtney Love – But Julian, I’m a Little Bit Older Than You

Hey Gabba Gabba baby / Hey Gabba Gabba baby / I know where you live (Shut up!)

22. Stone Coyotes – American Child

Give us Jerry Lee Lewis / Give us Joey Ramone

23. Casualties – Made in NYC

They called you dumb / The punks heard the noise / The scene you created – street punk’s born

24. Sloppy Seconds – You Can’t Kill Joey Ramone

You can lead a horse to water / But you can’t get blood from a stone / And you can lead sheep to the slaughter / But you can’t kill Joey Ramone

25. William Shatner – You’ll Have time

Johnny Cash, JFK, that guy in the Stones / Lou Gehrig, Einstein, and Joey Ramone / Have I convinced you? Do you read my lips? This may come as news but it’s time / You’re gonna die

Unpublished Transcript from The Hip Hop Years Michael Holman introduces Malcolm McLaren to Hip Hop

Author: Alex Ogg

I was hanging out with Fab Five Freddy and Freddy was telling me, ‘Oh, there is this thing called breakdancing. He actually hipped me to that and I went out trying to find it. I eventually found it, found kids who were doing it, and got more and more involved in it. I started bringing these kids to perform at the Mudd Club and different clubs downtown, and became like a small time entrepreneur, hustler, impresario. Stan Peskett, my friend, who is also quite a sub-culturalist, if you will, introduced me to Malcolm McLaren who at this point was promoting Bow Wow Wow and Adam Ant, and this whole romantic scene. I remember we were at a party together at this club in Union Square. Stan introduced me to Malcolm McLaren, who is still somebody I think quite highly of and who was always fascinated with his own role in popular sub-culture, the punk movement etc. Stan said this is the guy, me, who is in touch with this new thing.

Again, hip-hop was not a term that was being thrown around at the time. Malcolm always had a nose for the new thing and warmed up to me and said, ‘Hey, show me what this is about,’ so I said sure. A couple of days later I knew that there was going to be a big throwdown in the Bronx River Community Center up in West Bronx, thrown by Bambaataa, Jazzy Jay and a few other people. So I said, ‘Malcolm, let’s go up to this. I’m gonna show you something really amazing, you are going to get to see a new sub-culture emerging. So we planned to meet and we went up there in a gypsy cab. He was dressed a propos the whole pirate movement – which was kind of like, in America at that time, he looked like a clown. Which was kind of funny. I was thinking, Oh my God, we will never get out of this place alive! The way he is dressed, you know, big wide stripes and the whole pirate look!

We went up to the Bronx and we got to the centre of this giant projects pavilion and in the centre of this place and it was at night. Bambaataa had set up a turntable and he is playing his records, DJ Jazzy Jay who was his right hand man at the time was scratching and spinning records and one of his in-house MC’s was occasionally getting on the mic. Frankly this was a time in hip-hop’s history that MC’s weren’t that big a deal, nobody was paying attention to MC’s. I’m exaggerating a bit but MC’s weren’t that important, it was the DJ and a couple of kids were dancing. It was a big dance but it wasn’t a big B-boy breakdancing scene. It was mainly the DJing and the music and kids partying, but true to the Bronx, it was like an incredible melee of insanity. I mean people were having fights here and fights there, glass bottles were being thrown out of windows, it was chaos and I’d got Malcolm, this lily-white guy, and Roy Johnson from RCA Records, who was hanging out with us. I got them behind the ropes to be with Bambaataa and to experience this whole thing with the scratching, DJing and whatnot. You know, he was this petrified looking around at this incredible chaos of urban insanity. I don’t know how you would describe it – young kids just letting steam off and literally having fights and basically it was quite frightening – it really was quite frightening. But I was telling Malcolm, take a look at what the DJ is doing. Malcolm was like, ‘Michael, we have got to get out of here, we have got to get out – this is really dangerous.’ I was saying, ‘Malcolm, there is no way we are going to get out of here in one piece without their escort, so let’s just chill, wait and watch what this guy is doing. Watch what this guy DJ Jazzy Jay is doing.’

Bambaataa wasn’t a special effects DJ, Jazzy Jay was. Bambaataa would take really interesting soundtracks and create these amazing things from TV shows, Kraftwerk, etc. Jazzy Jay was a special mix DJ. And when Malcolm saw Jazzy Jay quick-cutting, and I believe there might have been a few breakdancers at the time doing something there, he was like – ‘Oh my god! What is this? This is really… this really is something new and really different.’ Malcolm had a great nose for this. So we eventually got out of there in one piece with escorts from the Zulu Nation, who put us in a cab. Malcolm was so jazzed by the whole thing, he was really, really turned on to it, and he really saw something big coming. He asked me at that point, ‘Michael, would you put together something to open up for Bow Wow Wow at the Ritz?’ I believe was late 1980. And I did. Actually, I had already at this point filmed the first breakdance film, a short film called “Catch a Beat” I had just finished it. I went and got the Rock Steady Crew, who I knew actually met through Fab Five Freddy, Bambaataa and Jazzy Jay and their MC, and put together this revue, if you will, this Bronx thing. This new sub-culture. I won’t bet my life on this, but it could have been the first collective hip-hop revue ever, where all these things came under one roof. So I am proud to say that and I thank Malcolm for giving me that opportunity.

With thanks to David Upshal

http://www.michaelholman.com/HISTORY.html

Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time Songs

Author: Alex Ogg

Songs that were either unwise to begin with, or where events simply overtook them.

The Coup

1. The Coup – 5 Million Ways To Kill A CEO

The sentiments of this track from Party Music might have been mistimed given the release’s proximity to the 9/11 attacks. The projected cover certainly was.

2. XTC – Mayor of Simpleton

OK.  You’re trying to win the girl.  The whole song is an open-handed gesture to that effect. So, you sing, ‘I don’t know how to write a big hit song.’ And you’re a professional musician, right?  It’s not much of a sales pitch, is it?

3. Nirvana – Come As You Are

Almost too obvious but, yeah, it’s that tragic-comic line about the lack of firearms in Kurt’s immediate vicinity.

4. Angelic Upstarts – Guns for the Afghan Rebels

When Mensi and co wrote this, the Afghans were immersed in a brutal war with the Soviet Union. Unlikely to attract much coinage on the mess hall jukebox in the current climate.

5. DJ Shadow – Why Hip Hop Sucks in ’96.

But M.O.P, Lord Finesse, the Fugees, Foxy Brown, Nas and Jay-Z all dropped in ’96, bro’!

6. Loudon Wainwright III – Rufus Is A Tit Man

Or not, as it would transpire. Kids, eh?

7. David Bowie – Five Years

Of a raft of apocalyptic songs, Bowie’s ‘Five Years’ was among the more prescriptive in predicting when the four horsemen would reach the starting stalls. He wasn’t right of course, but it would have saved us from Tin Machine.

8. The Bags – We Don’t Need The English

A fair enough sentiment from the female LA punk band. One to live down, however, when one of you ends up domiciled in Blighty married to the Damned’s Dave Vanian.

9. Alanis Morissette – Ironic

Irish comedian Ed Byrne does this better than we can. “The only ironic thing about that song is it’s called Ironic and it’s written by a woman who doesn’t know what irony is. That’s quite ironic.”

10. The Smiths – Paint A Vulgar Picture

Morrissey’s revulsion at the music industry’s tacky marketing practices.  Morrissey’s new album was released in the following formats: CD, vinyl, download, strictly limited edition deluxe CD, DVD, limited edition featuring exclusive filmed interview . . .

11. 2Pac – Hit ‘em Up

Hating on Biggie came back to bite Shakur big style.  Shit ain’t worth losing a testicle over, playa.

12. German Shepherds – Booty Jones

A disturbing song dedicated to kidnapper and child abuser Kenneth Parnell. The prosecution might have had a field day with it as singer Sandy Stark awaited trial for child molestation. Had he not hung himself first.

13. The Who – My Generation

The line ‘hope I die before I get old’ is probably the all time primo example of short-term thinking in popular music.

14. Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five – We Don’t Work For Free

Check your Sugarhill royalty statements, lads.

15. Townes Van Zandt – I’ll Be Here In The Morning

No you won’t.

16. U2 – Sunday Bloody Sunday

How long must you sing this song? Knock yourself out Bono, but if you come out of your own shower that’s a deal-breaker.

17. John Denver – Leaving On A Jet Plane

Well, better that than a single-engine prop.

18. Schoolgirl Bitch – Abusing the Rules

Came horribly true when their bass player was revealed to be the Tesco Bomber.

19. Twisted Sister – You Want What We’ve Got

The IRS certainly did. Dee Snider filed for bankruptcy in the late 90s.

20. System Of A Down – This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Song

Aside from the more obvious problems with this lyric, it tends to generate some profoundly weird cyber vernacular, i.e. “If you like the sound of This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Song, please buy the CD to support System Of A Down.” These guys obviously have way too much money already. Of all the arguments against illegal downloading, impoverishing dealers isn’t the industry’s strongest suit.

Listmania: Songs about Shoplifting

Author: Alex Ogg

Ladies and gents, ‘tis the season to be jolly (and stuff extra loot in your Safeway’s trolley). This is naturally an activity we do not in any way condone . But, with apologies to Tesco, Wal-Mart, five-and-dimes and corner shop proprietors everywhere, here’s a run down of the top choons for that illicit supermarket sweep.


teenshoplifting

1. The Slits – Shoplifting

The apotheosis of punk-feminist survival credo, in a field of one.  Distinguished by Ari Up’s sounding of that traditional call to the hasty retreat, ‘Do A Runner!’

Put the cheddar in the pocket / Put the rest under the jacket / Talk to the cashier, he won’t suspect / And if he does . . .  Do a runner!

2. Deviants – Let’s Loot the Supermarket Again (Like We did Last Summer)

From the Deviants’ ’68 album Disposable, featuring everyone’s favourite post-hippy insurrectionist Mick Farren.

Let’s get together and do this dance / Go loot the supermarket while we got the chance

3. Wilderness Survival – Shoplifting Books on How to Steal

Music by rich suburban white kids that rarely get laid. One is not being cruel – it says so on their website.  The title is a nice tryst on Abbie Hoffman’s hippy manual of the early 70s.

She likes to play all those games / I never thought that I’d play / She likes to say all those things / I never thought that she’d say

4. The Business – Do A Runner

South London herberts’ ode to over-running credit limits can easily also be seen as an invitation to alternative procurement methods.

When your flexible friend just don’t want to know / And the bank that says yes starts to say no / Do a runner / Have it away on your toes!

5. The Humpff Family – Shoplifting

Dour confessional by Scottish folkies on the subject of getting caught red-handed.

His eyes knew, by then / He saw me, He saw me

6. Ian Dury & The Blockheads – Razzle in my Pocket

An ode to that young man’s rite of passage, nicking his first porn magazine while the newsagent is distracted. Hey, that very nearly rhymes too. Helpfully includes sartorial advice for the well-groomed pilferer about town.

In my yellow jersey, I went out on the nick / South Street Romford, shopping arcade / Got a Razzle magazine, I never paid

7. The Smiths – Shoplifters of the World Unite

Whether this is actually about shoplifting is a moot point. Where’s that Simon Goddard book when you need it?

Tried living in the real world / Instead of a shell / I was bored before I even began

8. P.O.S. – Music for Shoplifting

Hip-hopper provides a soundtrack to retail misadventure.

We ain’t gotta worry / We’re tough / and we can deal with whatever comes up / This is for those who can’t pay the rent

9. Transmitters – Free Trade

Tucked away on Peel favourites the Transmitters’ ‘Still Hunting For The Ugly Man’ EP of 1979 was this, inspired by a shoplifting spree in Regent Street.

(lots of disembodied voices crying ‘It’s mine!’ pretty much)

10. The Briefs – Shoplifting At Macy’s

Speaking of upmarket theft, we have this from Seattle’s top noughties punk ensemble with a nice glimpse of post-cuffing contemplation.

Hand on my shoulder a voice says, son / I tried to run cos I never learn / There go my plans for the afternoon / I’m in a chair in the manager’s room

11. Kleveland – Jonny Is A Klepto

From Portland come feminist alt-rockers Kleveland and the story of a boy who can’t keep his hands in his pockets.

Taught me everything when I was just three / Stuffing that candy into my pants / Down at the Safeway, they never had a chance

12. Madness – Deceives the Eye

Though it’s not one of their best-known songs, it’s among their finest, and openly confessional.

In the earliest days of my shoplifting career / You could safely say I was filled with fear / It was nail-biting work from the very start / But several quick successes soon gave me heart

13. Angel & The Reruns – Shoplifting for Fun

Miles Copeland’s IRS led us to believe that this was an “all girl, all ex-con band”. They formed after watching re-runs of classic American TV while chumming up in county jail, apparently. All fibs of course.

Let’s go down to the mall / We’re shoplifting and we’re having a ball

14. Green Day – Shoplifter

Bonus track on deluxe editions of American Idiot talks about the inherent lack of ambition of your common or garden shoplifter

Shoplifter, you’ll never learn / With arms behind your back / Not a burglar or bankrobber / Just a kleptomaniac

15. Mott the Hoople – All The Young Dudes

The most famous song here though the below line is oft overlooked.  When Bowie recorded it himself he changed the M&S reference to ‘unlocked cars’ because he didn’t think it would ‘play’ in America.  Boo! Hiss!

And Wendy’s stealing clothes from Marks & Sparks

16. Straw – Shoplifting

Straw, those Blue Aeroplanes-affiliated Bristolians, riff more on the crime and punishment angle.

I’m trying hard to save your bacon / Time and time again you’re taking, taking / Shoplifting you go / A starring role in crown court

17. Anterrabae – Clever Shoplifting Tactics

Long Island metaller’s take on all this is somewhat oblique, but their dapper way with a song title gets ‘em home (though it’s not as good as their ‘A Shovel For Arch Stanton’, Sergio Leone fans should note).

I’d rather live by Sicilian proverbs than the words of a modern day saviour

18. The Beat – The Limits We Set

Two-Tone tribute to petty thievery.

Tell me which one would you prefer / One £100 fine / Or three months in prison / Me old cock sparra? / Shoplifting, shoplifting,

19. Steel Wolf – Shoplifting Bananas

What is it about Long Island and petty larceny? Their other song titles include ‘Exploring Uranus’, ‘Mistletoe Belt Buckle’ and ‘Spread The Love Mayonnaise’ – with its intriguing suffix, ‘Single Edit’.

She said thou shalt not steal / Although it’s got appeal

20.  Jane’s Addiction – Been Caught Stealing

This aria to asportation comes complete with handy ‘how to’ video as well as the ultimate klepto-chorus.

I enjoy stealing / It’s just as simple as that / Well, it’s just a simple fact / When I want something/ I don’t want to pay for it.

Get a Studio, you two!

Author: Alex Ogg

Songs where you get the girlfriend in to do the backing vocals. A document of artistic as well as romantic congress, a charter for skinflints getting round MU small print or the shameless pursuit of duvet brownie points?

Qualification: Can’t be full members of the band. So no Abba or Alannah Curries, Linda Vegetarian Curries, New Order’s Gillian, Mark E Smith’s Brix or Billy Childish’s Nurse Julie. Or fancy pieces picked up on the dancefloor of the Crazy Daisy by men with strange haircuts, for that matter.

Nips+Moped+Cute Lepers 040

1. Rolling Stones – Sympathy for the Devil

Double bubble as it features both Anita Pallenberg and Marianne Faithfull. All together now, ‘Wooh, Wooh!’

2. Ray Charles – Hit the Road, Jack

If you wanted to be a Raelette, you had to ‘let Ray’, so the story goes. As for the backing singers involved, perm just about any combination from half a dozen candidates.

3. Gram Parsons – In My Hour of Darkness

Gram formed a relationship with backing singer Emmylou Harris as they toured with the Fallen Angels in 1973. Somewhat to his then wife’s displeasure.

4. The Stranglers – Paradise

Written by bass-slinger JJ Burnel about a nightmare holiday in the Seychelles with French society girlfriend Anna – who helped him sing it, apparently oblivious to the sentiment.

5. E.L.O. – All She Wanted

Most of the ‘choirboy with his testicles in a vice’ vocals on ELO’s output actually came from grown men. But this is one exception, featuring Jeff Lynne’s then girlfriend Rosie Vela.

6. The Style Council – Shout to the Top

This one features Paul Weller’s then squeeze Dee C Lee. A serial seducer in chorus line terms, he can be seen kissing Department S backing singer Lee Kavanagh on the video to Jam single ‘The Bitterest Pill’. Weller was last sighted in the tabloids Christmas 2008, having moved in with new beau, Hannah Andrews. His, erm, backing singer.

7. Notorious B.I.G – Notorious

With his homie and gal Lil’ Kim. We could have had their ‘#!*@ Me’ sketch, in which Biggie makes the beast with two backs to the soundtrack of Kim’s crude exhortations. But taste precludes.

8. The Beatles – Birthday
Yoko weighs in on the White album. Recommended related listening: The Young Fresh Fellows’ ‘Don’t Blame It On Yoko’.

9. Prince – 7
Recorded with backing singer turned wife Mayte Garcia. The video featured a theme borrowed from her former career as a belly dancer.

10. Bruce Springsteen – Tunnel of Love
Patti Scialfa caught the Boss’s eye while touring Born In The USA. Their sexual chemistry on stage during performances of ‘(You Can Look) But you better not Touch’ made a mockery of that song title.

11. Bob Dylan – Caribbean Wind
If we’re to believe Susan Ross’s kiss ‘n’ tell memoir, the Zimmerman has been no stranger to mixing up his dressing rooms down the years. Here he’s joined by Clydie King, formerly one of Ray Charles’ Raelettes, so she probably knew the score.

12. Sly & The Family Stone – Family Affair
Though stories of a procession of backing singers enticed into Sly’s web persist, the most notable inter-band liaison was between Leon Russell and Mary McCreary of backing group Little Sister. In 1975 they married and released The Wedding Album. Aww!

13. Bob Marley & The Wailers – No Woman, No Cry
Having spotted one Alpharita Constantia Anderson singing with the Soulettes in Studio One in the 60s, Bob made her Mrs Rita Marley and built his backing band the I-Threes around her.

14. England’s Glory – England’s Glory
Pete Perrett gave a berth to his wife and manager Zena Kakoulli on his pre-Only Ones album. Quite a family affair, what with brother Harry on bass and lil’ sis Mary also on backing vocals.

15. Neil Young – Quit (Don’t Say You Love Me)
“I’m with you Babe / I’ve always been” – ah, finally, a blow for romantic longevity among the revolving door entanglements of rock’s glitterati. It took Pegi Young 20 years from meeting her hubby in a bar in Santa Cruz before she performed backing vocals in public for the first time at the 1994 Academy Awards. She is also the subject of ‘Unknown Legend’ from Harvest Moon and much of 2002’s Are You Passionate? from which this is taken. Maxo muse points then.

The Clash – A 21 (Brixton) Gun Salute

Author: Alex Ogg

Route 19

With Marcus Gray’s exhaustive and authoritative new book on London Calling in bookshops now (Route 19 Revisited), we put forward a selection of songs directly inspired by, or referencing, the Clash and Joe Strummer.

1. Bob Marley – Punky Reggae Party
(Year Zero cross-cultural solidarity)
“I’m sayin’ / the Wailers will be there / the Damned, the Jam, the Clash /
Maytals will be there / Dr Feelgood too”

2. Gaslight Anthem – I’da Called You Woody, Joe
(New Jersey noiseniks consider the Clash songbook “a comfort” while alluding to Strummer’s pre-punk folky incarnation)
“Do you hear the sound…. / I hear the sound… / Of the very last gang in town…”

3. Richard Thompson – Tear-Stained letter
(an inter-generational high-five)
“Well my head was beating like a song by the Clash / It was writing cheques that my body couldn’t cash”

4. The Hold Steady – Constructive Summer
(pitched halfway between Springsteen and Husker Du and therefore an unlikely triumph; includes an affectionate pro-Clash pay-off)
“Raise a toast to St. Joe Strummer / I think he might’ve been our only decent teacher”

5. Men They Couldn’t Hang – On The Razzle
(see the same band’s ‘I Loved The Summer Of Hate’ for a non-titular reference to the Clash’s famed Rehearsal Rehearsals performance space)
“The DJ played ‘Complete Control’ / The kids started dancin’, the place went outta control”

6.Anal C*** – Rancid Sucks (and The Clash Sucked too)
(Of course, it’s not quite as good as the same band’s ‘Eazy E got AIDS from F Mercury)
“Ska is gay, Reggae is gay / You’re fucking gay and you’re not punk / You say you hate corporations, but you were on NBC / London’s Calling and they’re calling you gay”

7. Rancid – Indestructible
(Speaking of whom… see also ‘Radio’ for namechecks for ‘Radio Clash’ and ‘The Magnificent 7’)
“I’m dancing now to a whole different drummer / And I’ll keep listening to the great Joe Strummer”

8. M.I.A. – Galang
(see also ‘Paper Planes’ with its ‘Straight To Hell’ sample for further Clash referencing)
“London Calling / Speak the slang now / Boys say wha’ / Come on girls say what, say wha’”

9. Die Toten Hosen – Goodbye Garageland
(co-written by Strummer’s old mucker Matt Dangerfield of the Boys; and with a nice thematic debt to ‘Hitsville UK’)
“To the sound of the Guns of Brixton / We were fighting Complete Control / We felt like we were Prisoners / In our Safe European Home”

10. Stiff Little Fingers – Strummerville
(one of the more heartfelt of several Strummer RIP songs – this time with a reference to ‘White Man In Hammersmith Palais’)
“And if music seems mundane / It’s cos the companies get their own way / And all the young bands seem to say / Please turn our rebellion into money”

11. Crass – White Punks On Hope
(of course back in the day, not everyone was convinced about the Clash’s ‘posturing’)
“They said that we were trash / Well the name is Crass not Clash / They can stuff their punk credentials / Cause it’s them that takes the cash / They won’t change nothing with their fashionable talk / Their RAR badges and their protest walk”

12. Street Dogs – The General’s Boombox
(Boston punks evidently familiar with the Last Gang narrative – nice to see yer man Rhodes get a mention)
“When Bernie got in your head / You sacked St. Mick / Went on a walkabout and stayed true to yourself . . . You lit the fire in us”

13. Cowboy Mouth – Joe Strummer
(touching story of a bloke who ditches his girl cos she wears all the right clothes but doesn’t know who Joe Strummer is)
“It’s not that she didn’t Rock My Casbah / It’s not that I couldn’t burn her London down / It’s just that she kept on disappearing whenever the Sandanistas came to town”

14. The Pernice Brothers – High as a Kite
(features a chorus including the line “We wore pictures of Strummer”)
“Heavy downbeat of one and the show began / London calling, strike up the contraband”

15. The Hours – I Love You More
(Clash as romantic barometer)
“You mean more to me than the Clash on a disc / You know I loved them since I was a kid”

16. TV Personalities – Part-Time Punks
(Dan Treacy’s immortal satirical depiction of early London punk scene. Not the only song of the time to mention the Clash; certainly one of the few to give a nod to the Lurkers)
“And they never use toothpaste / But they’ve got £2.50 / To go and see the Clash tonight

17. Wild Billy Childish – Thatcher’s Children
(Medway’s poet in residence adapts some of the lines in ‘London’s Calling’)
“Thatcher’s Children / A mobile’s ringing / The ice is getting thin . . . Won’t you give me a smile / For the CCTV cameras”

18. Aztec Camera – Walk out to Winter
(an ode to the ‘changing of the guard’ apres-punk)
“Faces of Strummer that fell from your wall / And nothing was left where they hung

19. General Public – Punk
(somewhat schizophrenic Beat spin-off ska ode to punk values concluding that both Joe Strummer and Mick Jones – who featured in the group at an early stage – are “boombastic”)
“Got to come along and makes the good times roll / That’s why we chant we lyrics like Remote Control

20. Wendy James – London’s Brilliant
(ex-Transvision Vamp’s bittersweet tribute to the capital, as written for her by one Elvis Costello)
Still digging up the bones of Strummer and Jones / Revolutionary days were sadly over / And a cool profile down Ladbroke Grove / Won’t make it no more

21. BoDeans – Cold Winter’s Day
(a Christmas day reunion with an old friend prompts thoughts of youthful good times past)
“I poured us more bourbon and water / and toasted The Clash / then we started to laugh, oh yeah”

Listmania 5: Ten Unlikely Tributes to Pop Stars

Author: Alex Ogg

1. Distant Drums
There’s no reason not to celebrate the life of the velvet-larynxed died-too-young country star. But you’d expect any standing attraction to be in Texas or Nashville. But Voxna? Sweden?

Jim Reeves

2. My Baby (Does Good Sculptures)

Originally, in consort with Frank Zappa, the idea was to have ‘recovering groupie’ Cynthia Plaster Caster’s moulds of rock musician’s dangly bits put on permanent display. We think the Tate Modern should ring her pronto.

cynthia plastercaster

3. I Am a Rock, I Am an Island

Singer of the European club hit ‘Spankox’ who died in 2005, Tina Leiu was equally well known as ‘Island Girl’ in the online universe Entropia. In a case of You Can Send Me (Virtual) Flowers, a memorial island was created with an interactive shrine/statue, with gamers decorating the site with flowers (and in Entropia, all items are paid for in cash).

Tina Leiu

4. Can’t Get You Out Of My Bedroom

Contemporary Australian artist Kathy Temin exhibited her ‘My Kylie Collection’ exhibition at the Museum of Contemporary Art in 2001 – a teenage fan’s bedroom turned Kylie shrine in pink hues. Think Tracey Emin if she’d gone to Erinsborough High and hadn’t knocked about with those Medway ruffians.

Kylie

5. Everybody’s Got to go Sometime

Talking of Australians, and retaining our colour scheme, singer Pink recently had what could be seen as a dubious honour bestowed upon her by the Brisbane Entertainment Centre. In recognition of her record-breaking multi-date stand, they renamed one of their toilet cubicles (number six, actually) in her honour.

Pink-toilet

6. (Don’t) Take me back to Your House

In tribute to his favourite pop star, Francis Cullen tortured his Bolton neighbours by playing the same Ronan Keating song, ‘If Tomorrow Never Comes’, for 16 hours a day. He was eventually evicted.

Ronan Keating

7. Like a Rollin’ Scholar

Forget your honorary degree tosh, Willamette University actually runs a course called Changing Times: The Music and Lyrics of Bob Dylan. Course leader Ronald Loftus promises to “explore Dylan’s earliest music and lyrical influences and chart the many transformations in his writing and performing, while seeking to understand how he has endured as an artist capable of organizing the multifaceted experiences of modern life into richly textured lyrical and vocal expressions.”

Bob Dylan

8. He Can Only Hold Her

Sculptor Guy Portelli walked out of BBC’s Dragon’s Den with funding for his exhibition of ‘pop icons’. This nickel and copper-plated figurine of Our Amy is our fave.

Amy Winehouse

9. Weathered Statues

Life-sized statues of country rock legends Alabama have been erected on the corner of Union Park in Fort Payne. American Pride? Cheap Seats available if Dancin’ on The Boulevard ain’t your thing. Why not Take A Little Trip etc.

Alabama

10. Ten-Four Rubber Duck

Do we all remember the days of CB and C.W. McCall’s trucker fave ‘Convoy’? Well, a little while before that, Bill Fries (who took on the alias McCall) was an advertising man behind the ‘Old Home’ product line of the Metz Baking Company. The commercials featured Hinkel’s cafe in Pisgah, Iowa for location shoots. It eventually changed its name to reflect the sponsorship and also became the title of McCall’s first single, ‘Old Home Filler-Up An’ Keep On A-Truckin’ Cafe’. It’s since been shut down, and reopened, but apparently some McCall fans still make the pilgrimage to the bemusement of locals.

McCall

Independence Days

Author: Alex Ogg

book_independence

In an act of shameless self-publicity:
My new book on independent labels is finally out, a press release and some quotes extracted from the text below.

Independence Days, even by the standards of author Alex Ogg’s previous work (The Hip Hop Years, No More Heroes etc) is an exhaustive undertaking. Collating more than 150 interviews, it traces the story of the UK independent record label boom of the late 70s to mid-80s. While most of the punk bands were co-opted by major labels, a new generation of independent spirits took the baton and revolutionised the course of popular music.

Discrete chapters cover Chiswick/Ace, Stiff, Rough Trade, Beggars Banquet/4AD, Crass, Factory, Cherry Red and Mute. There is also extensive coverage of Fast Product, Zoo, Clay, Small Wonder, CNT, Industrial, Good Vibrations, Postcard and myriad others. The smaller labels and their unique stories are also rigorously explored, alongside those of the Cartel distribution system. Fresh eyes are cast over familiar territory (and myths exploded in the process) and wholly new perspectives emerge as a fabulous cast of characters is profiled and their achievements weighed. From the budget DIY of Buzzcocks and The Desperate Bicycles to the grandiose packaging of Factory and 4AD and eventual chart dominance of Depeche Mode and New Order, all the key moments are documented through painstaking research, analysis and eyewitness accounts. Scheming and rivalries and fiscal brinkmanship contrast with the optimism and opportunism – and incredible diversity and quality of music – of a decade when anything seemed possible.
Published by Cherry Red
Interviewees include: Geoff Travis, Daniel Miller, Ivo Watts-Russell, Dave Robinson, Ted Carroll, Bill Drummond, Roger Armstrong, Penny Rimbaud, Richard Boon, Martin Mills, Richard Scott, Iain McNay, Mike Stone, Mike Alway, Bob Last, Terri Hooley, Bill Gilliam, Charlie Gillett, Miles Copeland, Seymour Stein, Geoff Davies etc

**********************************************************

Roger Armstrong, Chiswick: What took time was finding a band. Even though we were inspired by the Chess brothers, and Sun and so on, we couldn’t go outside our front door and find Elvis Presley or Muddy Waters or Etta James or BB King. Obviously we were doing what they were doing, in the sense that we were recording what was on our doorstep. And that was pub bands in those days. Punk was only vaguely in the air. We wandered round looking for bands. The Feelgoods were big, so that was the sort of band we were looking for.

Ted Carroll, Chiswick: I think it was easier in a way to start an American independent label, because there was a heritage there of independent labels. There were quite a few independent labels in England, but they were quite low-level and insignificant compared to the five or six majors. There was a sense that you couldn’t do an independent label, it just wasn’t a possibility

Dave Robinson, Stiff: The whole basis of the majors is that they would be distributors and manufacturers. Because they had factories, they signed up their own groups. That’s how they started. Originally they were manufacturers and distributors. And essentially that’s all they were ever fucking good for, in my book. Even to this day, look at the chaos they’ve caused in the music industry – the fact that people are downloading for nothing and feel that music is free is all down to the attitude of the majors. They’ve buggered up everybody’s game here in the record industry.

Richard Boon, New Hormones (on Buzzcocks’ ‘Spiral Scratch’ EP): The main motivation, really, was to document this funny little activity. Howard [Devoto] was going to go back to college, so it was just to document it – a souvenir of a small group of people through a short period of time. We had no real knowledge of what we were doing.

Geoff Travis, Rough Trade: We were just living in the frenzy of each day. It was so busy. We weren’t thinking ahead at all – thinking about building an empire, or thinking about building a catalogue. We didn’t have any knowledge of that kind of thing. We were very much living in the moment. We weren’t thinking about the future at all, or missed opportunities. We were thinking – it’s really exciting to do this now.

Martin Mills, Beggars Banquet: For a long time [music] was just a hobby. When I left university I wrote to every record company asking if I could sweep the floor – and no-one answered.

Daniel Miller, Mute: I fell in love with pop music when I was zero. So I got to this point, and I thought, fuck it, I’m going to put out a record, buy a synthesizer and a tape machine. I think in the back of my mind, I thought I’d get those, and whatever happens, I’ll have a lot of fun with it. And if I think it’s any good, I’ll put a record out. Nobody will buy it, nobody will be interested, but I just want the experience of doing it, then I can get along with my life!

Bob Last, Fast Product: We always stated that we never claimed to be an independent label – we were more dependent, because we didn’t have any money. The idea that independent is better – it’s a much more complex picture. There was a certain moment where a gap opened up in the media world where you could get attention for things you were doing. For a while, the major companies lost the plot and lost control.

Ivo Watts-Russell, 4AD: What really inspired me far more than punk itself was ‘Little Johnny Jewel’ on Ork and Pere Ubu. Those were the first signs of – what is this? Really, punk in England was gobbled up by the majors. Extraordinarily so. Ninety-nine per cent of it was just taken by the majors, because there weren’t labels and a system to deal with it independently. And it was the onslaught of music that was inspired by the attitude of punk and the journalism and the change of fashion of the time – a system to take care of that HAD to be created.

Steve Shy, Shy Talk Fanzine, on Factory (and the late Tony Wilson)
: Tony, as everyone will tell you – everyone loves him to death, but no-one will tell him to his face. Everyone tells him how much they hate him. He’s done so much for Manchester, but you must never, ever let him know. I can remember once, they were filming for So It Goes, either a Clash or Magazine show, and he said, ‘Do you want a drink?’ ‘Yeah.’ There were about three of us. He went to the bar and went straight to the front. The woman said, ‘I don’t give a shit who you are, you get to the back of the queue’. So he went to the back of the queue. By the time he got to the front, I think he was buying a round for about 30 people. Nobody says thank you to Tony, everyone just takes.

Bill Drummond, Zoo: We folded because of finances. Tony Wilson told me, ‘Bill, don’t do that’, when I was about to sign the Bunnymen to a record label in London. I had this conversation. ‘Look, you’ve got a well-paid job at Granada TV, you can do this financially.’ We couldn’t. We didn’t have the finances he had, or the confidence and media savvy. He was already a major figure in the media in the north-west. We were still on the dole. To get off the dole, we had to sign to a major record company.

Terri Hooley, Good Vibrations: It was a chance for me to relive my youth – and I haven’t stopped. It was all good fun at the time. Nothing had happened in Belfast since the 60s with Them. There was no recording industry here as such. It just seemed, from everything I’d learned before, that I was waiting for this moment in my life.”

Seymour Stein, on signing the Undertones: Paul McNally was working for me at the time, and we’re listening to John Peel. All of a sudden this record comes on. And I screamed, ‘Pull over, pull over, stop the car!’ He thought it was something to do with my headache. ‘Are you all right? Do you want to go to the hospital?” He turned white as a ghost. I said ‘No, it’s this record, it’s fantastic!’ God bless him, John Peel played it over and over that night. And he gave out all the details. And I said, ‘I’ve got to sign this band, they are fucking amazing!’ I said to Paul, ‘Look, my name is Stein, yours is McNally. Don’t you think it’s better that you go to Northern Ireland?’

Mike Alway, Cherry Red: The records that had the influence on me to go in a ‘light’ music direction that ran contrary to the way things were going? They were ‘Ambition’ by Vic Godard, the first Durutti Column album on Factory and the Young Marble Giants album on Rough Trade. All those things said to me that ‘light’ music has a place in this revolution. I saw a role, a place for Cherry Red.

Richard Scott, The Cartel/Rough Trade: The Cartel started because there wasn’t sufficient room in the back room of Rough Trade to service everyone. The only way to deal with it was to box up stuff to send out to the good regional shops so they could deal with the other shops in their area. I also thought it was important to try to set up centres where labels and shops could focus regionally rather than be in London – that was politically important. I saw London as being over-important.

Penny Rimbaud, Crass: The anarchist thing wasn’t because we wanted to be seen as anarchists, it was because we were trying to say, to both right and left, fuck off, we don’t want to be identified with you. We’re not part of any Trotyskyite scheme or some capitalist heist. We’re individuals doing what we want to do. Actually, we then had to learn classical anarchism very quickly. We’d always lived as anarchist individuals, but we didn’t have any history – it was a crash course. We hoisted ourselves on our own petard in that sense.

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