– “Ultimate Fighters on Ice” event.
– Curling stones to be replaced with improvised explosive devices.
– Speed skaters to be motivated by polar bears.
– Cross-country, cross-border terrorist-smuggling event.
– National anthems to be sung by Bjork.
– To reflect the yachting competition of the Summer Olympics, a “Deadliest Catch” winter event.
– “Halftime” performance by Adam Lambert.
– No guidos in houses at the Jersey Shore. Snow bunnies in the Olympic Village.
– Two words: skate bombs.
