This will be the first in what may prove to be a continuous stream of pure bile, fingers crossed.
#1: Seasick Steve
This gormless bastard son of George Thorogood and Daisy Duke, this hapless redneck from the shallow end of the gene pool, has managed to somehow convince many people, some of whom I know and like.
You are in a bar or at an opening, depending on the social micro-strata that you inhabit, bellowing into some poor woman’s ear over the “funky house”, and you ask that deathless question: “So what music are you into?”
She says, “I really like the blues.”
Your heart leaps. The possibility of pungent sex to the strains of Howlin’ Wolf describing in some detail how he’s built for comfort and not for speed, swims before your eyes. You ask, “anyone in particular?”
She says, “Seasick Steve.”
Not so much crestfallen as eviscerated. Just as you attempt to reconstruct the heady, scented atmosphere of a mere ten seconds ago, she continues “I saw him at Glastonbury two years ago and he was really good.”
HE’S CRAP. He is just hopeless. Theme Park Americana writ pathetically small.
You shake your head disractedly, and ask why.
“He’s only got three strings! And he’s really good!” she yelps. He’s only got three strings. A circus act.
10 Responses to Things and people I really despise #1
I think there’s an interesting diversion here – anyone who’s turned down a definite shag (pungent or otherwise) on the basis of prospective co-shagger’s abysmal taste in music.
Not quite the same, I’ll admit, but the first thing that made me want to marry my first wife was that she knew who the Grateful Dead were. Turns out it’s not a good reason to marry anybody.
But, to change tack, what Mark’s seething vat of anti-Seasick Steve vitriol remonded me of was the number of acts who have parodied blues names over the years. Some of my favourites were ;
Howlin’ Wilf – london-based harmonica chappie in the 70s.
Blind Lemon Pie – appears in The Rutles, as I recall.
Fatboy Slim – UK 90s hitmaker
Blind Melon – US 90s hitmakers
There was another one whose name escapes me now but it was yet another play on the ‘blind’ theme, but the guy called himkself Short-Sighted Something Or Other or Myopic Something Or Other.
Can anybody enlighten me?
And can we populate this list up to ten – that nice, round, meaningless number…
I’ve just remembered the other one – Colourblind James.
“Howlin’ Wilf – london-based harmonica chappie in the 70s.”
Now known as James Hunter, and just as good as he ever wuz – quite successful, even… his “People Gonna Talk” album is quite brilliant…
Johnny, gotta say that I think Seasick Steve’s OK, at least he can actually play the North Mississippi one-chord boogie with the requisite whampum, having learnt directly from RL Burnside… much better peeps associating his versh of the rowdy, droney Saturday nite fucking’n'drinking music with the blues than widdly-widdly-widdly shite such as Derek Trucks or Joe Bonamassa, the latest blues bores…
It’s unfortunate that, as with The White Stripes, the music biz, media and peeps in general have taken Seasick Steve as a musical archetype, instead of a single example of a lengthy, varied tradition that has all but been ignored or virtually ridiculed for its entire lifespan… and to think I coulda gone to one of Othar Turner’s goat BBQ days but couldn’t face the smell of roasting nanny…
“A circus act.”
Well, EXACTLY. And what’s wrong with that?
You’re wrong about the White Stripes’ treatment. They were (rightly) taken seriously as a rock’n'roll band from day one by the press. Shame no-one bothered pointing out the direct John Spencer > Hound Dog Taylor lineage, but you can’t accuse the rock press of not giving them their due props.
But Seasick Steve? He may as well apply the black face and be done with it. Just because he hung around with the right people and has a vaguelly credible biography doesn’t make him good, or make him any less fraudulent.
We’ll hav to differ in opinion over the merits of the White Stripes and Seasick Steve! I find Mr Jack White’s cod Led Zepp-isms very, very boring, whereas I kinda like Seasick Steve’s one-chord schtick, but wouldn’t go so far as to buy a record.
As far as I’m aware, the way the press treated The White Stripes from day one was as a kind of fashion accessory.
As I remember, no-one paid ‘em any mind whatsoever, outside of the peeps who’d been buying their Sympathy releases, until The Sun got wind of Kate Moss and Noel Gallagher going to see ‘em at the venerable Dirty Water Club in London and, it being ‘silly season’, slapped ‘em all over the gossip page, mush to the alarm of the other tabloids, inkies etc, who all jumped on the bandwagon sharpish.
Me? I’ve never actually heard anything by Seasick Steve. I assume that, if he’s any good, he’ll still be worth catching up with ten years hence.
“I assume that, if he’s any good, he’ll still be worth catching up with ten years hence.”
Well, exactly!
DJed at what was I think his first UK gig, launching the Not The Same Old Blues Crap festival at the Spitz, prolly five years ago (?) and he was pretty fun, would be even more so for some folks who’d never heard Jerry McCain! Hey, he’s what Dewey Phillips woulda called “good people”!
I mean, there are plenty of Weller fans who prefer his stuff to the people who he holds as godhead, same as there be many White Stripes fans who never heard of the Gories, nor would want to.
I ain’t saying that Seasick Steve is Pat Boone, but his fans prolly wouldn’t dig close musical kin, like Jack O & Jeff Evans’ trash blues skronk combo, South Filthy, or any of the Fat Possum crew, whatever their individual merits.
Hey, Johnny, there was a character in an early Cheech & Chong skit called Blind Melon Chitlin’.